You Are Not Alone (Guest Post: Larissa From Love Is Deeper Still)

If there is one thing I wish every bereaved mummy and daddy knew, it is this: you are not alone.

We found out our baby had no heartbeat on a Monday, she was born on a Wednesday and on Thursday we came home. Although my husband and I had great support from my two midwives, our families and our pastor, I don’t know that I’ve ever felt as alone as I did on that Thursday night. Driving away from the hospital with the empty capsule in the back seat and arriving home to an empty cot just intensified the loneliness that was swirling around in my head. Not only was my baby gone, but I had so many reminders that despite my heart being full of love, my arms were empty. That Thursday night, I felt so very alone.

But the next day, I realised that I actually wasn’t alone; the baby loss community, that I was now a part of, would always be there for me. My sister’s friend had set aside a toy rabbit to send us when our baby was born. Although Ariella was stillborn, she still sent the rabbit and it arrived, along with atouching card, the day after we got home from the hospital.We were home on Thursday night, the rabbit arrived on Friday morning, before I’d even gotten out of bed. This lady had alsoexperienced the death of a baby, and she knew that my arms would need something to hold while I was grieving myAriella’s death. That rabbit received more cuddles than I ever would have anticipated, and was often fetched by my husband before being snuggled in my arms and helping calm my tears.

Some people may hesitate to send a gift after a baby’s death, but not a loss mumma. They know what you need; you are not alone.

Some people may not mention your precious one’s name, but not the baby loss community. They know it is music to your ears; you are not alone.

As time goes on, people may not mark a sweet little girl’s birthday or a handsome boy’s anniversary, but those who have lost a baby will. They know those days are so important; you are not alone.

If you’ve had a miscarriage, an ‘incompatible with life’ diagnosis, a stillbirth or a neonatal death, you are not alone. I know it feels like it at times, I know the heart wrenching, lonely cries from the depths of your soul. I know that my words won’t fix anything, but I also know this: you are not alone.

You can visit Larissa's Blog at http://loveisdeeperstill.blogspot.com.au